Fingah Lickin' Good!!!!!!!!!!

Muchka

Dis is one of MUH Facepoo furriends.  Her name is Muchka TheLady Periwinkle-Brown.  She talk reelly reelly funneh.  I calls her one of da "Srsly Girls" cuz she says "Srsly" all da time!  Srsly!!!  Here an excerpt of one of her posts fur an example.  Now dis is Muchka talkings.  She saids dis to me today.

Jowee...wun Tom nawin on mai leg waz KWIET enuff!! Srsly! Nex wun dat duz dat getz TEH FUNDA-POODULLPAW of MUCHKA!! Srsly!! (wen itz betta!..Mol!)

Okay, now dids you unnerstands dat?  Srsly!!!  Cuz sometimes I has pooblems unnerstandings it.  I tink it because she froms Austria.  Well she reelly froms Australia, but I likes to says Austria cuz it get dem all flustery down undah.  Do you realize dat der toilets flushes in da opposites of ours in da Hempisphere of da North?  Does you realizes dat Muchka has nevah evah seen da North Star?  I tink dis a pooblem wid da Austrian kittehs.  Dey duns know which ways is up and which ways is down.

Chickin Leg

So here da stowy.  She gots bits by a cat.  A boy cat.  She hads to goes to da V-E-T to gets it all checkeds out and dey hads to shaves her leg!!!  So I jus curious (after all I is a cat) and I asked her iffen she taste like chickin?  And I been tinkings about and cravings chickin all days long!  Srsly!  And I beens tinkings abouts it a lot!!!  Anutther thing you oughts to knows about Muchka is dat she is a pawtner in da law firm of Boob & Ass.  Now der a staff picta of dem and she sittings in a chair wid her legs crossed. I commenteds on da picta dat I was starings at her legs and otha kittehs thoughts I was beings pervy!  I was jus starings at dem legs wunnerings iffen dey taste like chickin!  Srsly!  Dis is what she saids!!!

Muchka TheLady Periwinkle-Brown ‎*uncwossez legz n pullz daown skurt* *stayrz at Jowee* Yu tells dat Joey Weener,Caroline!! Mai poodull-paw DOEZ NOTZ TAYTZ LIEK CHIKKIN! Srsly! *likkz saw paw* Hmmmmm?!

Donald Driver & Brett Fav-rah

Well gosh dis normally jus a 3 topic blog and I alweddy dids two whole paragraphs on Muchka so I jus does one more tonights!  OH MUH CAT!!!!!  Now I duns wartch Dancings Wid Da Staws - I is not a wee girlie boy like Russ Edens so I duns wartch it.  I JUS DUNS!  But being da manly cat I is I dones does wartches the football!!!  And not jus any footballs but da Green Bay Merman!!!!  Imagine MUH purrleasure when I heards last night dat our wide receivah, Donald Driver, wons da whole dang ting!!!  Eeeeee!!!!  Here a picta of him from a few years ago wid our old quarterbacks Brett Favre.  Now back in da day Brett Favre was mommy's hewo and she gots so muchlies of stuff of his round our apootment includings a full-size autographed helmet in dis fancy schmancy display case she gots way back in 1995!!!  Den you know what happen?  He left da team!!!  First he wents to New York and was Bretty & Da Jets and while he der he sendings pictas of his bits on da cell phone!!!  And den da WORST was when he playeds fur da MinneSNOWta Vikings!  Oh MY!  I liveses in MinneSNOWta - dat was reelly reelly hawd on MUH fambily.  What about OUR feelings Mr. Favre??????  Now Donald Driver - he a REAL hewo!

Duns forget to has some poonanigans.  

Der's Something NEKKID in Da Watah!

Purple Pootunias

Dis will not come as a surprises to any of MUH furriends on Facebook, but I wants all you dat duns know me to knows da truth.  MUH poo duns stinks.  It jus DUNS!  MUH poo smells like pootunias.  I is surprised dat Mommy and Daddy din'ts name me Pootunia cuz whenevah I walk by dem I am sure dat is what dey tinks of.  Dey prolly wondering iffen dey is downwind from a grand garden of pootunias because it jus smells dat lovelys.  Some of MUH "furriends" duns reelly believes me, but seriously looks at me.  A ridiculously good-lookings kitteh like me has ridiculously good-smellings poo.

Soothing Bedroom Art

So MUH poorents is tinkings of movings sometime furthers north.  Dat seem ridiculouses to me considering we liveses in MinneSNOWta already and dey wants to move anuttha hour closah to da North Poles?  <shakes head>  I guess I jus duns unnerstands beans.  But iffen they does I really hopes dat dey lets me lends a hand wid da decoratings.  Especially MUH Daddy.  I can nevah go into his bedroom cuz he say he duns sleep well.  I's been tinkings dat maybe if I gaves his room a soothings decoratings dat I woulds be able to goes in der and snuggle wid him while he is fast asleeps havings peaceful dreams.  And what more peaceful den bunnehs?  I founds dis picta and it is givings me inspooration of the subtle soothing effects of what they right art in a bedroom can does.  I may try a peaceful wall color too.

Nekkid Lady in Da Lake

Snow & Ice.  Still Nekkid.

We lives in Albert Lea, MinneSNOWta right now.  One of da reasons we wants to moves is dat der is some unsavory areas in dis town.  Fur instance - Da Nekkid Lady in Da Lake.  Beans in dis town will argue wid me - dat we is a sister city of Copenhagen, Denmarks and I guess dey has a famouses statue in der port called Da Wee Mermaid or Da Little Mermaid or Da Teeny Mermaid or someting like dat.  But seriously - all arguing asides she is jus a clearly NEKKID lady in MUH lake.  Sometimes da locals will crawl down der and puts a hoodie on her to covah her boobies but magically she takes it off.  Notice dem ducks floatings by is tryings to avoids eye contacts wid her.  I duns blame dem.  Is barrassings.  Dey shoulds all have paper sacks to puts ovah der head.  And dis nekkid lady is ALWAYS der!  It duns matter to her iffen it snowings or floodings - she jus always der flashing her self like she on Bourbon Streets in Nawlins instead of a conservatives midwest towns.  Iffen you evah comes here duns let her lure you into da lake.  Dat's her plan.

Barrassed Duck

Blog #2

Lando, Daddy, Joey

McNamara / Troy

Dis is what we does on Daddy's day off.  MUH poorents wartches television shows on DVD's cuz dey loveses so many shows and dey duns like commercials or waitings a week (or worse half a years) afta a cliffhangers!  So we wartches wid dem.  It can be anytings!!!!!!  We has wartches marathons of Da Tudors, Battlestars Gallactica, Lost, Shameless, Arresteds Developments, Despoorate Housewives, Furriends, Seinfelds, Smallvilles, etc.  Sometimes when Mommy sleepings or whatevah dumb stuff she does we jus cuddles up wid Daddy and wartches shows fur boys like Rome, Games of Thrones, Bands of Brofurrs and stuffs.  What we jus finished today was da series finale of Nip / Tuck and what a cwazee ride dat show was!!!!!  We wants to stawts to wartches it all ovah agains and we probbly will tonights alweddy!!!!  Dat show gots ridiculously good looking doctors, cereal killahs, porn staws, mimes, dwarves, lobstah claws, psychos, man butts and everytings in betweens!!!!!!!!!  We recommends it, specially iffen you has a meatballs sammich to snacks on while you wartches!

Two of MUH favrite tings in da world is scratch posts and yarns!!!!!!  Does you all likes to plays wid yarn? Imagine iffen der was yarns wrappeds all ovah a humungouses scratch post!  Dat is what "yarn bombing" or "crochet bombing" is all abouts!!!  Some places considers it grafitti and is illegals, but nothing off limits to da bombers!  I has seens poles, bikes, cars, phone booths and everyting in betweens "bombed"!!!!!  Seriously!!!!  Google "yarn bombing" and you see amazing pictas!  Wouldn'ts you jus love to climbs dis amazings scratch post???????

Now to MUH most excitings news of da day!!!!!  A couple months ago we sponsored a kitteh nameds Suzu dat was ats Grayson Humane Society in Kentucky and a wunnerful bean lady saw our posts dat we hads up tryings to find her a home!!!!  Well FINALLY Saturday Suzu was transported to her new furrevah home in Ohio!!!!!!  And her new mommy says she sweets as can be and dat she will now be lovededs and pampereds furrevah.  Awwwwwww we loveses a happy ending.  Is jus like Landry's story - he MUH brofurr dat cames from Grayson and he tranpooted all da way to MinneSNOWta!!!!  Well was happy ending fur him - I can'ts speak fur da rest of us kittehs.  He kinda creepah.  MOL  But we sure exciteds for Suzu!!!  We can'ts wait to hear more abouts how she justing to new purrlace.

Duns forget to covah your poo.

MUH First Blog

Brad Hamilton

Dis is MUH blog and is gonna be bout whatevah I wants it to be.  Iffen I wanna talks about how handsomes I is den dat is what I will talks about.  Iffen I wanna talks about MUH furriends den I will.  Iffen I wanna talks about someting I likes or not likes or whatevah it duns mattah cuz dis is MUH feelings, MUH blog, and MUH terms.  I duns has a clue how to blog or how dis works.  So fur tonights I is jus gonna plays.  First I is goings to try to inserts a picta.  Hold on and I will grabs someting off MUH desktops and see iffen it works.  Holds on...    MOL MOL MOL oooooooooo dat worked!!!!!!!  Dat is Brad Hamilton from one of da best movies EVAH calleds Fast Times At Ridgemont High.  He deliverings feesh in Da Cruising Vessel!!!!!  He reelly barrassed though - I bet he goes home and puts a paper bag ovah his head later on but dey duns show dat in da movie.  I loveses Judge Reinhold.  Dids you know dat da Judge in the Animated Clerks series was calleds Judge Reinhold?  Dat is your useless trivia fur da day.

A weeks or so ago Mommy gaves us all deli ham.  It was cheaps ham dat costeds $2.99 a pounds.  I duns like it!  I jus duns!!!!  I refuse to eats it - PHHHFFFBBBFT.  Den today she gaveses me some $6.99 a pounds deli turkey and I ates it!  Dat jus goes to shows dat I has spensive tastes.  Is prolly cuz I so ridiculously good-lookings.

A moth like da one I gots.

Da other night I smashed a moth on da wall and I was so exciteds cuz I reelly wanted to eats it!!!  Well so I smasheds it against da wall and den it fells behind da nightstand.  Oh noes!!!!!!!  I din'ts know iffen it liveds or dieds!!!!!!  I puts MUH paw behinds dat nightstand and stareds at it fur a long long time and it nevah dids comes out and I din'ts get to know iffen it tastes as goods as I knoweds it woulds.  Poo.